“He shall die a flea’s death.”

William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor

“You should never try to teach a pig to sing: it can’t be done, and it annoys the pig.”

Letter from Matthew Horan of Fort Smith, Arkansas in National Review Dec. 30, 1991, quoting the opinion of H. Franklin Waters, Chief Judge of the Western District of Arkansas in Robertson v White, 633 F. Supp. 954, 959 (W.D. Ark 1986). [How’s that for a detailed, even pedantic reference?]

“a man who is in so far over his head there’s eel-grass in his hair.”

Denny Boyd in British Columbia Review June 19, 1995

“leisure: a word that means three totally different things: 1. being allowed to do something, 2. being allowed to do anything, 3. being allowed to do nothing.”

G.K. Chesterton in Illustrated London News July 23, 1927, quoted in “Chesternitions” in Gilbert! magazine Vol. 7 #2 (10-11/03)

“They should take the fans who threw things on the ice and throw them right out of the building. Without opening the door.”

Announcer on Toronto Maple Leafs’ playoff game April 18, 1996

“tennis purists still regard the western grip as having the same relationship to good tennis as leprosy has to good health.”

Burling Lowrey in Verbatim Vol. XX # 4

“Hurry! I never hurry. I have no time to hurry.”

“Igor Stravinsky, responding to his publisher’s request that he hurry his completion of a composition” quoted as “Thought du jour” in “Social Studies” in Globe & Mail August 6, 2004

“Thanks a lot, gentlemen, and don’t let the doorknob hit you in the butt.”

Tom Wolfe The Right Stuff (I don't claim he invented this wonderful expression but it's where I first encountered it)